Attainable “Detox”

Why are people, especially women, always claiming to be “detoxing”? Why can’t women just say, “Hey, I’m feeling kind of fat, and I’m going to drastically reduce my food intake for a few days”? We humans are always convincing ourselves we know better than the wisdom of ages: after surviving pretty well for thousands of years on cooked meat and baked grains, suddenly it emerges that cooking our food saps it of enzymes, and the only way to eat is raw. Our huge, deceptively hardy livers really need our help: let’s starve ourselves and sip only a mixture of water, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup for 10 days! Yeah!

There is no scientific research to show that detoxing does anything at all. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence (mine, gathered in New York’s PR industry) to show that girls who “detox” hate themselves and their bodies, and often smoke through the detox period, strongly suggesting that what they’re trying to expunge isn’t unspecified “toxins”, but thighs.

I do understand the impulse to eat healthily after a glut of indulgence. Unfortunately, depending on which nutrition cult you subscribe to–the Blood Type Diet, raw foodism or perhaps breatharianism–this might involve organ meats, quinoa (my most hated food of all time, closely followed by parsnips), or nothing but big gulps of sunshine.

I ate a couple of filet steaks this week, slathered in a rich mushroom sauce. I washed them down with gin, and I washed the gin down with bourbon. I ate handfuls of granola, and tubfuls of the best yoghurt in existence. (I discovered Greek Gods’ Yoghurt with Honey in a somewhat incompetent fashion, shopping for a cookbook shoot that called for plain. Hey, it all looks the same on camera, right?) I even gnawed at chevre-covered lamb chops straight from the bone. In short, whether it was my digestive system talking or my conscience, my body was calling out for something green.

Note that the cardamom-brightened pea and watercress soup I ended up making is garnished with truffled croutons and crispy pancetta cubes. I said green, not ascetic.

As an accompaniment, an Isabella-brand (no web presence that I could unearth, sorry) olive oil crispbread, faintly sweet and aggressively aniseedy, covered with crumbled Boursin. They’re selling these yummy breads at Fairway, individually wrapped in wax paper, and I loved them topped with the 99-cent tuna rillettes recipe that Eric Ripert contributed to the ghetto gourmet feature in this week’s New York Times Dining section. (Enlivening a pea soup with ground cardamom is an idea from a related article, in which writer Henry Alford visits Jack’s World. I was curious about it, because I have a fear of sweet Indian spices, so often thick and cloying. Cardamom, if you’re not familiar with it, really can be overwhelming, especially if you happen upon a whole pod of it in your biryani, but a whiff of cardamom powder straight from the jar is unexpectedly brighty and citrusy, and the versatile spice does much to lift the flavour of this simple soup.)

Pea and Watercress Soup with Truffled Croutons–Makes two meal-sized bowls

INGREDIENTS

For the soup:
8oz frozen peas
1 bunch watercress, thickest stalks removed, chopped in 1-inch sections
1 large shallot, finely minced
2 tbs cubed pancetta
1 tbs butter
12 oz chicken stock
1/4 cup heavy cream
pinch ground cardamom
salt & pepper

For the croutons:
2 slices bread, crusts removed and cut in 1/2-inch cubes
2 tbs butter
splash truffle oil

METHOD

For the soup:
Melt the butter in a large pot. Brown the pancetta in melted butter, and gently sweat shallot until translucent.

Pour chicken stock into the pot, and add the peas and chopped cress. Bring to the boil, and then lower heat and maintain at a gentle simmer until cress is wilted.

Transfer contents of pot to blender (in batches, if necessary) and add heavy cream. Puree.

Return soup to pot and bring to a simmer. Add a big pinch of cardamom and season well with salt and pepper.

For the croutons:
In a frying pan, melt 2 tbs butter over medium heat. Add the bread cubes and toss to coat evenly with melted butter.

Sautee, tossing frequently, until croutons are brown and crispy, about 2-3 minutes. Remove from heat and add a good splash of truffle oil to pan. Toss to coat croutons.

Drain on paper towels.


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COMMENTS / ONE COMMENT

My favorite detox diet consists of drinking raw chicken juice with pressed parsnips. Your colon will work overtime. Be sure to carry a roll of toilet paper in your purse.
atalie added this comment on Apr 01 08 at 10:26 pm

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